Keralavum Mada Puravum

Weak hearted Keralites and Pro Air India travellers , please avoid reading further .

Keralavum Mada Puravum .

A title in which only Kerala is related while Mada Pura was added as it sounded somewhat artistic .,

The first thing i thought of after landing in kochi was the awesome mallu food i am going to have which i was always craving for.. basically not mallu food but some south indian food , if not chennai atleast Kochi . I normally have my dinner post 10 and when i stepped out that night to have dinner , to my astonishment most of the hotels were shut and few of them which were open had any veg food with them . This is one of the major problems i face wherever i go.. lack of authentic veg food :( I somehow had to compromise myself with 3 parotas and kadala curry . So i thought next day afternoon i can have a feast but later the next afternoon i slowly realized that you don't get nothing but boiled rice .. ya you read it right BOILED RICE . The next thing which came into my mind .....Thank God I didn't marry a mallu girl , otherwise I would have starved to death with the kinda food available there . I thought being a vegetarian would be a PROBBLAM (read malayali accent ) but fucking fish the rice is so round and big in shape .. I could have made a ball out of the rice and killed the waiter with one throw on his face , but suddenly I realised that I shouldn't kill him so easily ;) forget the food , even the water is pink in color and that too hot .. Remember its hot and not warm .

The hotels are almost shut by 9 pm and stores by 8 . I don't know about other cities in kerala but kochi is still an undeveloped village in a city's disguise .

These guys seem to know four languages but unfortunately all four - English Hindi Tamil and Malayalam all sound like Malayalam only :( so irrespective of the cab driver , auto drivers , hotel staff and everyone , everyone speaks all four languages in malayalam .

If spending two days in kochi was an awesome experience , things couldn't get better when i booked a return flight with air india . This is the first time I am traveling with them and trust me this would be the last time too . After check in they gave me a customs clarification note some damn thing like that to fill it up , otherwise you can't check in . bingo . now i had to search for a pen at early hour as 4 in the morning . finally after searching a lot in the international airpot i luckily (really?) found an aunty (the "aunty aunty aunty" voice was echoing inside my mind like that godrej commercial ) and asked her a pen for which she showed me the empty airport with hardly three or four around and asked me to get it somewhere from the airport . ya i know not carrying a pen is definitely my fault . somehow the guy at the customs understood my agony and put a stamp on my ticket allowing me to check in without filling up that form .. than you uncle (this time it didn't echo thrice)

now i thought my problems would end as soon as i reached mumbai (i didn't forget the inflight crew experience but not worth sharing) . I somehow blissfully threw my ticket once i got down the flight . Till now , i have travelled quite a bit in domestic flights but what was coming ahead was somewhat silly not to be expected from Air India . Now , they have to give a stamp of checking out also .. holy shit . so , i was asked to stand in a corner while everyone walked out happily and at the end i was called . The security guy was having a merry time giving me a classic example like how i would have my ticket till last while traveling in bus and train till i get down and hence i should also carry my flight ticket along till i get down the flight . Now , i told him that i did the same here . The ticket was with me till i got down the flight but threw it off as i usually do once i get down a bus or a train . I don't know whether i didn't understand his logic or he didn't understand mine , he let me go by issuing the stamp on the printout i had with me .

being the daredevil I am , I would definitely go to kerala again whenever possible but i wouldn't dare fly in Air India again :)

The above mentioned incidents are not updated here to hurt any Keralite or Air India . If so , it was unintentional and so please don't book a case on me or vandalize any of my relatives property whom you can find only deep down in some remote village in andhra .