Weak hearted Keralites and Pro Air India travellers , please avoid reading further .
Keralavum Mada Puravum .
A title in which only Kerala is related while Mada Pura was added as it sounded somewhat artistic .,
The first thing i thought of after landing in kochi was the awesome
mallu food i am going to have which i was always craving for.. basically
not mallu food but some south indian food , if not chennai atleast
Kochi . I normally have my dinner post 10 and when i stepped out that
night to have dinner , to my astonishment most of the hotels were shut
and few of them which were open had any veg food with them . This is one
of the major problems i face wherever i go.. lack of authentic veg food
:( I somehow had to compromise myself with 3 parotas and kadala curry .
So i thought next day afternoon i can have a feast but later the next
afternoon i slowly realized that you don't get nothing but boiled rice
.. ya you read it right BOILED RICE . The next thing which came into my
mind .....Thank God I didn't marry a mallu girl , otherwise I would have
starved to death with the kinda food available there . I thought being a
vegetarian would be a PROBBLAM (read malayali accent ) but fucking fish
the rice is so round and big in shape .. I could have made a ball out
of the rice and killed the waiter with one throw on his face , but
suddenly I realised that I shouldn't kill him so easily ;) forget the
food , even the water is pink in color and that too hot .. Remember its
hot and not warm .
The hotels are almost shut by 9 pm and
stores by 8 . I don't know about other cities in kerala but kochi is
still an undeveloped village in a city's disguise .
These guys
seem to know four languages but unfortunately all four - English Hindi
Tamil and Malayalam all sound like Malayalam only :( so irrespective of
the cab driver , auto drivers , hotel staff and everyone , everyone
speaks all four languages in malayalam .
If spending two days
in kochi was an awesome experience , things couldn't get better when i
booked a return flight with air india . This is the first time I am
traveling with them and trust me this would be the last time too . After
check in they gave me a customs clarification note some damn thing like
that to fill it up , otherwise you can't check in . bingo . now i had
to search for a pen at early hour as 4 in the morning . finally after
searching a lot in the international airpot i luckily (really?) found an
aunty (the "aunty aunty aunty" voice was echoing inside my mind like
that godrej commercial ) and asked her a pen for which she showed me the
empty airport with hardly three or four around and asked me to get it
somewhere from the airport . ya i know not carrying a pen is definitely
my fault . somehow the guy at the customs understood my agony and put a
stamp on my ticket allowing me to check in without filling up that form
.. than you uncle (this time it didn't echo thrice)
now i
thought my problems would end as soon as i reached mumbai (i didn't
forget the inflight crew experience but not worth sharing) . I somehow
blissfully threw my ticket once i got down the flight . Till now , i
have travelled quite a bit in domestic flights but what was coming ahead
was somewhat silly not to be expected from Air India . Now , they have
to give a stamp of checking out also .. holy shit . so , i was asked to
stand in a corner while everyone walked out happily and at the end i was
called . The security guy was having a merry time giving me a classic
example like how i would have my ticket till last while traveling in bus
and train till i get down and hence i should also carry my flight
ticket along till i get down the flight . Now , i told him that i did
the same here . The ticket was with me till i got down the flight but
threw it off as i usually do once i get down a bus or a train . I don't
know whether i didn't understand his logic or he didn't understand mine ,
he let me go by issuing the stamp on the printout i had with me .
being the daredevil I am , I would definitely go to kerala again
whenever possible but i wouldn't dare fly in Air India again :)
The above mentioned incidents are not updated here to hurt any Keralite
or Air India . If so , it was unintentional and so please don't book a
case on me or vandalize any of my relatives property whom you can find
only deep down in some remote village in andhra .
