Dear friends.. you people must be wondering why I dont have a girlfriend .. well let me tell u Why guys like me never get girl friends. Its funny but serious.. girls dont see the heart but everything else other than that
1) We always sit in the last bench with the others who feel that its possible to get marks sitting in the last row. In case of workplace no girls are beautiful or either there in our projects and we have like minded ppl as colleagues and wherein our entertainment oscillates between the canteens , smoking zones and cinema theaters.
2) We obviously cant groove and dance around in a group , in a disc by just shaking our head or grooving our hip at a snail's pace. Desi music directors are our favorites. Himesh bhai simply rocks and we cant wait for a item or a bangra number to crop up. We perceive discotheque to be a place where we will have a chance to unleash our dancing potential and occupy the center stage with 10 other fellows immediately throwing out the babes from the vicinity of the dance floor.
3) Our intelliegence level mostly can take in just jackie Chan, Arnold and stallone flicks. It can take in just action films whose contents can be absorbed. We just can't take major English romance films but desi romance rocks. We invariably are the DDLJ and hum aapke hai kaun typos. Rajni , kamal ,shahrukh,mohanlal,mammotty,chiranjeevi rock. Tom cruise is a dud!!! and invariably sucks... who the hell is leonardo d'caprio ????
4) We obviously don't know how to make use of yahoo messenger are frequently at loss of topics when we want to chat with some girl. whereas we r deluged with strange topics to discuss with our friend with whom we had lost touch for the past decade or so.
5) We cant eat Spanish, Italian foods and fav: restaurant invariably happens to be Andhra Mess, south indian restauarants , any road side fast food , Kai Endhi Bhavan types. we frankly are clueless as to what are bella ciao,Tangerine and things like that unless we happen to go an a treat organized by the other guyz... (obviously girls never give treats)
6) We dont see a reason why we have to go to barristas or qwiky's when the local corner "nair kada chaaya" tastes like nectar and satisfies us more than a barristas. lime tea is the best tea to have been invented by a human and we are thankful to nair for providing it to us.
7) Most of the jokes we know are adult jokes which we can discuss only with our other fellow comrades and which again takes off the opportunity from telling a joke to the girl and impressing her. besides we seriously tell very good jokes which the blondes can't comprehend or think it is vulgar, we have to tell some absolutely boring jokes or "PJ's to be precise.. (terrible bores) to make them laugh which though we try hard we will never be able to.
8) We seriously cant start a topic with a member of the opposite sex. We are not those guyz who can chat with girls purely with emoticons for more than a hour. We can never do that. We will have to crack real dumb jokes to start the conversation or falsely extol them. the most important drawback we have is that we cant talk about what she had for breakfast. We seriously can't talk about that(decent flirting in ur lingo). For ex.
Boy : what did you have for breakfast??
Girl : I had idly ....
Boy: Is it??? same pinch no back pinch I too had idly ..(he slyly pinches her) and laughs..
Girl : Ouchhh(artificially)...it hurts..
Boy: ohh.. I am sorry and (tries to apologies..)..then say "; i had sambhar for idly.."
girl: (excitedly)..sambharrrrrrrr............ i had chutney....and giggles...
we swear we cant tolerate any longer than this...this is no figment of imagination.
9) We cant sing bryan adams ,sting,george michael's song.. when they talk about linkin park we cannot even imagine who they are and the closest link we can associate with them is Shivaji park.
10) All thru college life we belong to this boy's gang and even in our gang nobody has a girlfriend so there is absolutely an absence of the inspirational factor for so called Loveeeeee...
11) All that we know in flowers is Jasmine which our grandmas used to wore it .. gosh.. we never been thought of giving roses (boquets) which eventually will go to a dustbin after a week or so.. just waste of money man...
12) Our standard of english is just manageable.. we cant talk that hi-fi english which only BPO's are excelled at.. come on .. we never thought we need an accent huh..
13) As we are from the last bench in the class room.. you cant expect us to do some b.sc (comp) so we just manage to clear our commerce subjects with arrears.. so we end up doing some clerical job or reach some good positions using our brains..but at the end..WE ARE NOT SOME SOFTWARE ENGINEERS.. NO WHITE COLLAR JOBS though..
14) because the only place which comes to our mind when we take some leave is our native place and not some Goa or Mahabaleshwar etc etc.. we just thought seeing our parents is the most important thing to do rather than taking you girls out when we get leave..
WITH ALL these attributes its difficult for guyz like me to fall in love or find a girl. but it is not a sin after all. i guess we are not made for it. let us accept that and be proud of that. we are one among the few in the vanishing tribe and amen to it..
P.S NO OFFENCE MEANT GIRLS.. ITS JUST AN EFFORT TO TELL YOU THAT WE ARE NOT YOUR CUP OF TEA or coffe in baristas or coffe days..lolz
